I saw a Rauschenberg show at the Guggenheim the other day and was struck by how messy his paintings are. He’s a genius of course, I’m a huge fan of his work; I just never thought of his paintings as chaotic before. It reminded me of the ongoing struggle I have with the “messiness” in my work. I’ve written about it before i.e. embracing imperfections, loving the crooked lines, the unfinished edges, bla bla bla. But am I just being lazy? While I’m not comparing myself to Rauschenberg, there’s a line between his type of intentional messiness and me not being able to sew a straight line. Sometimes I want to sew a straight line. I do really want the inside of my clothes to look more finished and neat. I’d like for the work to be more polished without compromising my imperfect style.
I know that part of the issue is my impatience. I hate following directions and I am always rushing, even when I’m in the moment. I don’t know why. There is no reason to rush. I rarely have deadlines. I love the process of making. So what gives?
So here’s an idea: in 2026 I intend to be more Rauschenberg. I’m going to try and be intentionally messy and at the same time, work on the finishing part, making the inside look as good as the outside. I’m going to learn to use seam binding, and serge all my seams. Hell, maybe I’ll even buy a serger! And if I want to sew a straight line, I’ll use the slow setting and do it straight.
